Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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