i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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