we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
