don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
