You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
