people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize