why didn't you poke me back
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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