I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
