I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He did a backflip because drugs
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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