Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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