bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
