if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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