my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
