May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
