Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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