Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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