Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
How naked do you want me to be?
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