People in love make me want to vomit
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
NoShamevember. You game?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
its liver damage thursday
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
