I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
