He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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