i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
ttyl tear gas
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize