It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
