why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
