the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
just tell him i said nine months
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
