Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
