I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
