i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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