You just made me feel so damn special
Screwed.edu
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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