u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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