i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
