Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
