we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
