I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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