Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
