An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
How external is "for external use only"?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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