I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
