He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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