Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
