If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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