I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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