Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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