also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
