yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
