I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
