remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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