Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
