Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
