I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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