True but thats because hes a fetus.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
