My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
