there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Randomize
