Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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