It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
