i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
