How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
