Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Call me so I can make it juicy for ya

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(604): View more from British Columbia

she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.

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(248): View more from Michigan

So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.

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(631): View more from New York

It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.

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