pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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