i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm too high and old for this...
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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