yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
