I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
