Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i just sent this text using only my big toe
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
