xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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