So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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