five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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