well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
