If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
