You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
