Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
