Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
In America we eat man semen.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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